A time of restoration…

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with the endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.” ~Hebrew 2:1-2

A sweet young sister in Christ who is going through a season of healing in her life asked me recently what my “year of restoration” looked like. She had heard me give my testimony at a women’s conference some time ago, and is now working through her own personal pain. She was curious to know what the process was like for me, and how long it took for me to be “ok.”

I told her about my “Aha!” moment…the pivotal point in my life that knocked me to my knees…literally! At that moment, I shed what seemed to be an ocean of tears. And not just then, but for many months to come, the tears flowed. My awareness of God’s holiness, and His unconditional love, along with an infusion of grace, hope, joy and peace, overwhelmed and humbled me to my core. In that instant, the walls of sin, guilt and shame began to crumble. It was the beginning of an amazing life-changing journey with my Savior Jesus Christ. It was a second chance—a brand new start—and a profound change in my life’s trajectory.

I knew that in order for me to experience deep healing and true transformation, I had to respond to God’s voice. I immersed myself in His Word. I attended church every chance I got…every time the doors were open. I sat close to the front, ears open and my heart ready. The messages I heard through an amazing pastor were, no doubt, Holy Spirit inspired. Each message seemed as if it was custom tailored just for me!

I remember walking briskly to my car after each service, trying desperately to hold back the tears. The Spirit’s conviction was so powerful! As I drove home – alone in my car – I gripped the steering wheel…and let the tears flow. I cried out to God… asking for His forgiveness…praising Him for the pain…and thanking Him for His gift of grace. When I got home, driving through the tears, I faithfully journaled what God had spoken to my soul. I wrote until it seemed my fingers would blister!

The Holy Spirit began the process of stripping away all the junk—all the foul, stinking junk that I had carried for so long: the hurt, the anger, the pride, the shame, the selfishness, the arrogance…and on and on and on. I poured my heart out to God daily….almost continually. More often than not, I cried myself to sleep. I allowed myself to feel the pain. I mourned the loss of innocence. And I cried out to Papa God for comfort. The emotions were so intense! I felt the pain of regret and sorrow – and I felt the joy – all at the same time. It was such an amazing, almost indescribable experience.

It was months before my wounds began to be transformed into beautiful scars… scars to be remembered and treasured. Pearls to be used for His glory. And the beauty of it all is that He isn’t finished with me yet. I am a work in progress. We all are. And we will be until He comes to take us – His bride – home to be with Him forever.

During my “Aha!” moment, and for several months following, I fell in love with my first true Love…my one true Husband…my precious Savior Jesus Christ. And so my devotion and loyalty belongs to Him…my Creator, the Holy One that died for me. I will keep my eyes fixed on Jesus. And when I stumble and step out of sync, I will seek refuge in His Word. I know that He’s “got it,” and He’s got me! And now whenever the storms begin, I willingly take a knee, bowing before Him, knowing that He is ready to go to battle on my behalf!

It is through my valleys that He continues to develop my character – and my trust in Him. It is in the valleys I find sweet solace. It is there….on bended knees…that I surrender whatever “IT” is that has caused me to doubt…to fear…to stumble.

My precious Lord… He paid the ultimate price on the cross so that I can spend eternity with Him! I continue to run the race no matter how hard it gets at times. Imperfect as I am, my heart’s desire is to serve Him well. At the end of my life, when He and I are face to face, I long to hear Him say, “Well done good and faithful servant!”

Today, if you are in the midst of a circumstance that seems overwhelming, allow His Spirit to take you to your knees! Surrender whatever is holding you back! Step aside and trust that the One who created you…and died for you…knows best! The Master Potter will mend your broken pieces, and through your story, His glory will be reflected!

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete not lacking anything.” ~James 1:2-4


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. James Haworth
    Sep 19, 2012 @ 11:11:35

    Rose, I read with a great deal of interest you story above, it was awesome!! A total reminder to me that when troubles come, (and they will) to get on my knees and ask for his guidance and direction, right after I ask for his forgiveness. Thanks for such a heart warming story.


    • Rod & Rose
      Sep 19, 2012 @ 11:50:17

      So true for all of us Jim. It’s a daily surrender…sometimes moment by moment depending on the magnitude of our trials! Thank you for your kind words! God bless you!


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