Life sometimes seems like a battleground, littered with emotional minefields. What if we used the explosive events as opportunities to learn to fight like a true Christian? Try asking these 4 questions the next time someone trips your wire:
1. How important is this issue in the “Grand Scheme” of things?
We’ve heard that it’s wise to pick our battles. Sometimes it’s wiser not to battle at all.
True, we need to have things in our life that are important enough to promote and defend, but these things rarely have anything to do with us. They have to do with the kingdom of God…and with others.
For instance, a husband is to think of his wife more highly than he thinks of himself. A wife is to think the same way about her husband. Husbands and wives are supposed to defend each other–not themselves. We as men are out of bounds when we place our needs ahead of our wife’s needs.
And as fully devoted followers of Christ, we are servants. Servants do not live according to their own agenda. As servants, we are agents of our master, living in obedience to His will, and to His agenda.
In the grand scheme of things, our purpose in life is to become the person God designed us to be. We are designed to live life grafted into the Vine. Our response to the inconveniences and the aggravations of life should be His response. And what was Jesus’ response? He always did and said whatever His Father told Him to do or say. He lived in obedience to His Father. When Jesus is in us, and flowing through us, our response should be His response.
2. Why do I have such a “lively” emotional response?
Throughout our life, we have developed beliefs about how the world should work. Our beliefs drive our emotional response to the things happening around us. For instance, if we believe we have a right to an unobstructed traffic lane, we will be annoyed when someone is such an idiot to think he has a right to our lane. We might even be inclined to offer him (or her) driving lessons.
Or if we believe our way of doing things is the “right way” of doing things—not to mention the “only way,” anyone who has a different opinion is woefully wrong wrong wrong. And they need to be corrected—by us.
And our emotional response is driven by our unresolved pain of the past. If we men were controlled by our mother, and we felt minimized or degraded by her, we will lash out at our wife whenever it feels to us as though she is trying to control our life. If a young girl felt abandoned–or belittled–by her father, her default mode under pressure will be to feel abandoned and belittled by her husband.
We are responsible for our emotional response, regardless of whatever has happened in our past. This seems harsh to someone who has been the victim of evil. But it’s true. And the truth will set us free, but first it makes us mad.
In order to take responsibility for our response, we need to stop “blaming the world” for being such a hostile place. We need to release ourself from the pain of the past by forgiving those who have hurt or disappointed us.
And we need to align our beliefs with God’s Truth.
Continued tomorrow…
Rod & Rose 