4 Keys to Fighting Like a True Christian…(Part 2)


3. How will I feel about this lively discussion tomorrow?

Most of us have spewed hot and hurtful words in the heat of the battle that we later regretted. Sometimes it’s not until the next day that the regrets set in; sometimes it’s immediately.

Children act on impulse. If they feel like doing or saying something, that’s what they do. In the heat of the moment, we are being childish when we do or say something simply because we “feel like it.” It’s an easy way to live—in the short run—and it feels good, for a minute. But it’s destructive. And it’s immature.

“Winning” an argument with your mate is a “Pyrric Victory.” It’s a victory that ultimately ends up in defeat. In the heat of the moment, it is often wise to step away from the conflict…momentarily. Possibly for a couple of minutes…or perhaps a few hours. Whenever we are feeling so emotionally turbulent that we are unable to listen, chances are that continuing the skirmish will only lead us down a path we will regret tomorrow.

We need to recognize those times when we need “spaces in our togetherness.” And when we speak, we need to speak the truth in love. Our words should be full of grace, lightly seasoned with salt.

And we need to move closer to God, asking Him to search our heart, and to guide us through the emotional storm…in His timing.

4. How can I, as a fully devoted follower of Christ, honor Him in this situation?

Much of what Jesus taught in the Sermon on the Mount is counter-intuitive. It makes no sense to us to turn the other cheek to a bully, and it makes no sense when someone rips us off to offer him more than he’s already taken. And it’s counter-intuitive to love our enemies (the ones we’ve offered driving instructions, for instance).

But then again, it makes no sense that someone would take the punishment we deserve, and die on a blood-drenched cross so that we could be set free from the penalty of our sin. If we lived by what makes sense to us—from our flesh-stained perspective—we would live as the world lives. We would live to defend “our rights.” But that’s a problem, because we have been crucified with Christ. That means our rights have been put to death. (Granted, our rights tend to die a slow death.)

So what do we have left if we’ve surrendered our rights? It’s a great question! We have the infilling work of the Holy Spirit within us as He equips us and empowers us to live in a way that brings glory to the Father. We’re left with eternal purpose…and with peace that boggles human understanding. And if we’re married, we’re left with a marriage that honors one another, and our heavenly Father.

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